Three weddings and a renewal
During August we will celebrate three marriages and one renewal of 50-year-old wedding vows. Two of these ceremonies will take place during Sunday morning worship, taking the church back to practices of the 16th century Protestant Reformation. The two other weddings will take place on Saturday evenings here at the church.
The four couples and their wedding dates are: Emily Begnaud and Brett Schroeder, Saturday evening, Aug. 9; elder and Sunday school leader Kevin Patton and new member Laura Grabowski, during our Service of the Lord’s Day on Aug. 10; new members Kelly Radigan and Matt Lemay, Saturday evening, Aug. 16; and Jack and Barbara Steward, celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary by renewing their vows in worship on Sunday morning, Aug. 31.
Never heard of anyone getting married in church on a Sunday morning? Please allow me to offer some background. For much of human history, marriage was a business or political arrangement. Young women, often mere girls, were offered in marriage to gain or solidify control over property. There was no religious ceremony until the Middle Ages, when the Church began to require a priest’s blessing before a marriage could take place. The Reformers advocated marriage as part of Christian discipleship and tried to move the wedding itself into the church on the Lord’s Day. The idea of Sunday morning weddings did not take hold, but church as the principle setting for weddings did.
In our time, the Church tries to focus brides and grooms on the covenantal relationship we believe marriage to be; namely, promising to live faithfully in relationship with one another and with God. To this end, the PCUSA’s Book of Common Worship offers three options for Christian marriage, labeled Rites I, II and III. Rite I is the brief ritual with which most of us are familiar. Rite II follows the order of our Service for the Lord’s Day, and “is designed for use when marriage is to be included as a part of the Lord’s Day worship.” Rite III is for use with those couples who have been previously wed in a civil ceremony but now wish to make their vows as part of a Christian community.
The real test of marriage, of course, comes not from the wedding ceremony but from living with and by the vows. Consider this observation from Edwin Friedman, author of the widely acclaimed book, Generation To Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue. Required reading in nearly all seminaries, Rabbi Friedman writes, “No human marriage gets a rating of more than 70 percent.” I would add that this “measurement” must be taken over an extended period of time, ranging from courtship to honeymoon, from first fight to seventh Christmas with the in-laws, and from the first child’s initial adolescent rampage to the last child’s paid-off student loans. Anything short of this and you don’t get a true measure. Just ask Jack and Barbara.
Shalom!
Sid