“Extravagant Love”
A sermon by Sid Burgess, Edgewood PC, Birmingham, AL
Fifth Sunday in Lent, March 25, 2007
Text: John 12:1-8
3Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair.
The story we have just read does not say, but I have a hunch that Mary’s expression of love for Jesus was entirely spontaneous. Pouring out perfume worth thousands in today’s dollars, is probably not something she planned. I doubt she had thought it through, weighed her decision. I suspect it just happened--a spur of the moment act of love. Later people would ask her “Why,” and I doubt Mary could explain her action. Love is like that. It just happens. When love calculates, love loses. When commitment requires a balance sheet, Judas wins, Jesus loses.
The Gospel of John wants us to see Sister Mary as our role model in faith. As Jesus prepares to “lay down his life” for us, to “pour out his love” on the Cross, so the faithful disciple is to “pour out” himself or herself for the Holy One of God. Think about it too much, weigh the odds, do the cost/benefit analysis, and we’ll hedge our bets every time. Discipleship is the original “just do it” commitment.
I think one good analogy for Christian discipleship is the institution of Christian marriage. In the Presbyterian Church, the wedding service begins with a statement of Christian marriage, which reads, in part, “God gave us marriage for the full expression of the love between a man and a woman. Think about the covenant of marriage in our time as an extravagant expression of love. Two people committing to live their lives together—“in plenty and in want; in joy and in sorrow; in sickness and in health; as long as we both shall live.”
The classic ad campaign says “diamonds are forever,” but there is no commercial slogan to promote the lifetime commitment of husband and wife. Many of the car warranties end at seven years—and so do two out of three marriages. Sociologist say seven years is about the norm. After all, marriage is no longer an economic or social necessity. Outside of the Church, marriage is no longer required as an outlet for sexual passion. Not even required for procreation. Nowadays, marriage is optional, even questionable in some quarters. Our society values personal independence above all else, private space, far superior to shared quarters. Personal happiness is the ultimate goal in life, faithfulness to our partners, even to our children is, well, secondary. Dull old mutual commitment ‘can’t hold a candle’ to the thrill of romance. The heroes and heroines in our culture are the loners—the cowboy “alone on the range;” the private detective, who lives alone and works alone, the glamorous celebrity, unencumbered by personal commitment.
In our time, marriage has become an extravagant expression of love. When ‘men are from Mars, and women, from Venus,’ committing to a lifetime together-- and honoring that commitment—is a lavish expression of love. He pouring out his life for her, and she for him, as Christ pours out his life for both, and for all humankind. Think about this radical concept: In Christian marriage, she commits to represent the love of Christ to him, and he, to her.
Of course, the preacher idealizes marriage. He’s paid to make it sound good. To be sure, no analogy is perfect. Not everyone gets a shot at marriage; popular prejudice denies it to many. And, all fairness requires that I at least acknowledge that marriage can make a person—or persons-- miserable. No doubt about it: marriages die, and unlike Lazarus in today’s story, few are brought back to life.
Relationships die when they lose spontaneity. Romance is exciting because it involves risk. Two people just getting to know each other, risking bit by bit to open themselves to each other. But then, shortly after the “I do’s,” many couples start closing up on one another, keeping secrets, avoiding risks. ‘After all, the children!’ Soon, spontaneity is lost. Somebody starts keeping score. Someone else starts a collection of hurts. And when love calculates, love is lost.
Another way to kill a marriage is to make unreasonable demands. Imagine Jesus humiliating Mary, demanding that she wash his feet in front of all those people! Imagine the Holy One of God requiring Mary to give up her most prized possession, turn over her valuable perfume to Judas, keeper of the purse.
It would never, ever happen! For the God whom Jesus represents is the God of freedom. Here is the paradox, the puzzle of Christian marriage: it requires commitment, and yet it flourishes in freedom! Sustaining faithful relationship requires common commitment: to the children, to the budget, to the household, to the community. And yet, sustaining a healthy relationship requires that each partner be free, free to pursue his or her own passion. Here’s a radical thought: God has given humankind freedom. We mortals must not put restrictions on each other that would impinge on this divine gift.
Finally, I think marriages fail--fail as Christian marriage, that is—when the ultimate goal is financial security and upward mobility—always a bigger house in a better neighborhood; newer, more luxurious cars; and, more exotic trips. By contrast, the goal of Christian discipleship, both inside and outside of marriage, is the exercise of compassion for the needy among us.
In today’s story, John the Gospel writer is apparently in a hurry. You can just imagine--so much to say, so little time to say it. No word processor, no computer for writing and re-writing. Can’t say it all, just point the way--and pray. And so Jesus says, “You always have the poor with you . . .”(v. 8). Leave it at that. The faithful will know what Jesus means. The faithful will know Jesus is referring to God’s instruction in the book of Deuteronomy:
11 Since there will never cease to be some in need on the earth, I therefore command you, ‘Open your hand to the poor and needy neighbor in your land.’
In other words, ‘The poor will be with you always . . .,” and you, my sisters and brothers, are to take care of them.’
This, my friends is the goal of Christian discipleship, and some of the best marriage insurance money can buy. The couple who gives together has the best chance to stay together. The couple who commit to share with others, who look not only to the needs of each other, but also to the needs of the “least of these,” their own children as well as the children of others, this couple has the chance to ride out the inevitable storms of life. Freed from pre-occupation with the “me, myself, and I,” this couple can follow St. Paul’s example, and . . ., “press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus.”
To Jesus Christ, who loves us
and freed us from our sins by his blood
and made us to be a kingdom,
priests of his God and Father,
to him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Rev. 1: 5,6